Albuquerque Evening Citizen · Albuquerque, New Mexico · 1906

Browns 9, St. Elmos 0

Albuquerque, 1906. Rain stops the slaughter at Traction Park, the clouds weep for the dead ones, and the Browns win 9 to 0 because they had their McIntoshes on. The writer apologizes for the pun and blames Mr. McIntosh personally.

“It was really a shame to take the money.” When a game story opens with an apology to the losers, settle in.

The McIntosh Browns met the St. Elmos at Traction Park, the latter “a team made up of incapacitated Browns, Santa Fe Centrals and Barelas players, the best material of the three aggregations mentioned.” Best material notwithstanding, the regulars “caused the score keeper to chalk up ‘3’” in the first, did it again in the second, and “of course a couple of balloon marks occupied the first two boxes on the St. Elmos’ side of the score board.”

Then the weather took pity. “Then it rained. The clouds wept great tears of grief for the ‘dead’ ones. But the fans had not this sympathy. They huddled up in the dry spots in the grand stand and bemoaned their luck. But most of them stayed to see the finish. And the ball players stayed, too, all excepting Old-timer ‘Snapper’ Hale, who had retired from the field under cover of the rain.”

Snapper Hale, first man in these pages to steal away mid-game under meteorological cover, is hereby entered in the rolls of the great names.

In thirty minutes the sun was back, the grounds were mud, and here comes the sentence the writer had been waiting all afternoon to type: “It gave the good mud going horsehiders the best of it, and the Browns had very much the best of it, as the score sheet shows, because they had their McIntoshes’ on. Of course the fans will forgive the writer for this, but it could not be helped. Mr. McIntosh was there.”

A pun, an apology for the pun, and an alibi for the pun, in that order. Mr. McIntosh was there. What was a writer to do.

Gallegos “pitched gilt-edged ball for the Browns, allowing but five scattered hits, and striking out twelve men.” Pettus took the loss behind seven errors, three of them by L. Anderson at third. The line score runs 3 3 0 0 2 0 0 1 0 for nine, a string of goose eggs for the visitors, and at the bottom, in the traditional place of honor: “Umpire—Mason.” One word, one name, no complaints recorded. A good day’s work, Mr. Mason.